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I am reluctant to admit that I begin each morning by snoozing my alarm a few too many times and mindlessly scrolling on TikTok. And once awake, school, work, socializing, and a workout always seem to fall into place effortlessly. So why doesn’t prayer?
While I make my σταυρό before every meal, and mumble Πάτερ ἡμῶν everynight before going to sleep, I didn’t establish a set prayer time each day until a month ago. The forty-five minutes I might dedicate to a pilates class had become more feasible, and I convinced myself that it is more worthwhile. I lived under the pretext that being busy was an excuse from establishing a set time with God. The Orthodox Church teaches the importance of a traditional worship: venerating icons, the seven sacraments and routine prayer. These rituals come naturally to me, yet I mostly practice them during services. I have never doubted my relationship with God, yet I have always struggled to pray. And while it may sound obvious, learning ‘how to pray’ is important and it is a conversation that is often shelved.
Recently, I’ve been observing the way in which my grandmother worships God in her daily life outside of Church. Her morning routine swaps scrolling for reading scripture, her afternoon walks do not require blaring music or a phone call to catch up with a friend, and her evenings end with silent prayer and reflection each night. Meals are introduced with a proper prayer and thanks to God, not a half-hearted and hastily done cross. She incorporates God into her routine, arguably gossiping to Him just as I would with friends. And while she is 83 and has more downtime, these habits are ones that anyone could emulate.
For much of my life I was truly uncomfortable in personal prayer; shifting in the silence, asking God for wants like some sort of genie, and eventually resorting to repeating familiar prayers because I was impatient. Our time spent together felt forced, ingenuine and painfully redundant. My screen time was an abjection and this summer, I admitted to myself that the restlessness in silence with God needed to change. Observing my grandmother required me to face my fears and accept the reality that nourishing an intimate relationship with God will require self reflection and this dreaded, uncomfortable silence. Yet acceptance was the easiest part; it has been putting it into practice for me that has proven to be most difficult, while dually the most fruitful.
Under the advice of my older brother, I reached out to my priest to speak about these feelings. During our conversation, he urged me to test out the ‘closet method’ wherein you set a timer and sit somewhere kept away from distraction -hence the closet- and dedicate a period of time to God. While this may seem a bit dramatic, it has changed the way I pray and I’ve grown increasingly comfortable in the silence that was formerly so daunting to me. Much like meditation, it reminded me that I need to relax my breath, set my mind and my intentions onto my goal: building my relationship with God. This approach to prayer has allowed me to focus my entire attention on God, weakened distraction and has translated into other moments of my day. The reward of knowing God intimately requires struggle and in just the few weeks I’ve put this advice into practice, I have begun to look forward to our conversations. I look for Him in my solitude and no longer feel the need to drown Him out with music, idle scrolling or former unfulfilling distractions. I shifted my perspective of God from not just my creator, but to my friend. And just like any strong friendship, it requires effort, listening and patience with both parties. Further, allocating time for God in the same way you would a workout, a healthy meal, or a good catch up with a friend is nourishing; it is a free and effective wellness supplement!
Mary Markis is a part-time writer for the Orthodox Observer. A Greek American and lifelong Orthodox Christian, she is currently pursuing a Bachelor of Art in Art History and Social Anthropology at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland.
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